I`m brand-y. Fly me.

So what do you have to do to get sponsored round here, then?

On some blogging sites, including this one; there`s a little column of options down the side. And one is tantalisingly marked `earnings`.

I mean-it`s ok if you`re one of the first home in the London Marathon. They got bright red Virgin branded towels thrown round their shoulders. If you were fourth or fifth; forget it-you were just ushered round the back; sweating anonymously.No photo opportunity, see?

And it`s easy if you`ve got the cheek. Apparently some of the beach volleyball players in this year`s Olympics will have a QR code (quick response-yeh-funny..) on their bikini bottoms.It links to their sponsor`s site. How close you have to be to their backside with your mobile before the link kicks in; I`m not sure. And how would you convince anyone that you were `just activating the QR link` anyway? Dodgy.

It helps if you have a name, doesn`t it? Like Daniel Craig. I read that his new Bond movie, Skyfall,sealed a deal for him to be seen drinking Heineken in at least one scene. You wouldn`t want to be shaking and stirring a can of that, really, would you? It could go off all over your gorgeous blue trunks. Mmmmm.

Mind you; there`s dosh in drinking even if you`re not quite as well known as Daniel. If you`re someone like Fred Dell, for instance. Did you read about him? His pub in Fleetwood has made him a `freeman`. He`s been drinking there since 1936. And now gets free beer for life. (I mean--he`s 94. There are deals, and deals, aren`t there? If you want me, Bombay Sapphire; I`m ready for you. Do it now).

Of course,I can say `Bombay Sapphire` as often as I like now, because I don`t work for the BBC any more. When you`re signed up to the Corporation, you have to be damn careful about product placement. And showing your political colours, if you have any. Just for the record; I always found Keith Barrow to be a real gent. He was damn polite about my coffee in the studio; and smelt of lovely cologne. I still have a soft spot for Vince Cable. ( No, I know, but I can`t help myself.I think it might be the ballroom dancing.) And I definitely find Chuka Umunna *interesting*. There. That`s balanced.

Finally, now that I`ve got the bit between my teeth,I might just throw in a quick *Nike Nike Nike*; given that I`m running again. I appreciate that I`m hardly belting over Tower Bridge with the world`s cameras tracking me. I`m actually shuffling through a village with a population of about 300. But it`s a start.

(Is that enough, do you reckon? I-what- sit here with a plate of marmite toast and a coffee and wait for the phone to ring? OK then.)