Mum's Gone to Glasto. (But was once enough..?)

Yes...it was three years ago. And yes, I loved it! Why...and then what?

The Mud: I'd heard about it. But went anyway. And while there was plenty of the squelchy stuff for a couple of days, the sun shone too, so the mud turned to clay. People wore wellies. And the bands played on.

The Music: Imagine the world's biggest pick 'n' mix candy counter. But instead of sweeties, you get the most varied range of music of every shade, every genre. Just pop them all in your Glastonbury bag and shake them up a bit. And make sure there are a few you've never sampled before.

The Other Bits: It's more than music. There's a whole array of street theatre acts, poetry and film. A massive polar bear in the Greenpeace area. A marching kazoo band. Two Del-boy types offering to take your car keys and 'mind your motor'. Tea ladies gossiping round their trolley. A girl juggling knives while dangling upside down. Women on stilts. Men in kilts.

The Food: What can't you get at Glasto? It's as varied as the music. From vintage cream teas to Beirut street food. Noodles. Pies. Thai. Dig in.

The Tents: Every shape and size. Up close and personal. Our 'base camp' boasted three, of the pop-up variety. Up in seconds. Leaked like sieves.

The Cost: It seems like a lot, when you`re shelling out over £200 for a ticket. But I saw 19 acts over three days--with more music at every turn. I've totted up how much that would have cost me at individual gigs. Way more. And you got 'accommodation' here, too. Kind of :)

The Vibe: Friendly, smiley, positive-whether you're standing in a field mid thunderstorm, wading through a quagmire or queuing for food. The staff, marshals, stallholders all seemed to have time for you. Asked how it was going; who you'd seen. If you had the wrist-band, you were part of a special community, looking out for each other, helping when you could. Fantastic.

The Toilets: I've seen better. And I've seen worse--at motorway service stations in France, for instance. Look. The longdrops ain't pretty. And you may have to queue for a flushing loo. But pack your Andrex and your antibacterial hand gel...and get on with it. Unless you have an *en suite* in your tent, of course. Rumour has it that *some* had dinky funnels and Fanta bottles close by. And bright torches, therefore, obviously. You wouldn't wanna...well, quite.

The Sex: (As in the song by The 1975...) was one of the most memorable ones of the whole festival for me. Expose yourself, musically, to something new. Fantastic young, energetic band.

The Drugs: More than a 'little weed'.And plenty of other stuff too, it seemed, along with a reported drug related death. If it's not your scene, (and it's not mine) steer clear, but don't be surprised to see it.

The Rock n' Roll: See above.From the incredible energy of the Kaiser Chiefs and Kasabian, John Newman and

Ed Sheeran, to the enduring coolness of Blondie and Bryan Ferry, to Plant and the Pyramid packing Parton. Glastonbury veterans reckoned they hadn't seen the Pyramid field that full in years. Everyone loved 'Jolene'. The ground shook when she sang '9-5'.

The Daughters: Two. One in late teens at the time; one mid twenties. Cautious at first when I told them I was off to Glasto with a woman I'd only 'met' on Twitter...but were then helpful with a backpack loan; harem-pant advice (!) and one even Tweeted about her tinge of envy while I was there.

The Friends: You could do Glasto solo. But it seems more fun with friends. You don`t have to stay joined at the hip, after all. The Glastonbury App helps you plan your own 'gig list'--and you can go your separate ways, meet up again, compare notes and scoff 99s together in the rain. You'd be hard pushed to find better festival friends than Michelle and Meg, though. Not only did they guide me through my first Glasto; they shared their home nearby with me--and pretty much everything in it-- when the weather turned. Top act (of kindness), M & M. Thankyou xxx

Oh yes...and that question right at the top. Would I go back? Well ...loads has happened since then. Including whizzing round the world in 57 days (using toilets in some places that were WAY worse...) So....I'll be watching coverage on telly this year. And I never say never.... :)