Dear Flytipper. An open letter--just for you.

Dear Flytipper,

I agree--they`re not the most beautiful sofas I`ve ever seen. They`re pretty grubby, for a start.

But if you went to the trouble to load them into your van, or a trailer, and get them this far--then why not go the whole hog and take them to the tip?


Instead you left them near the bridge in Preston Montford Lane. Perfectly positioned to watch the kids rummage through the eclectic mix of toys nearby. Did you dump those, too?

There`s a (naked) Action Man style fella there. And some kind of pirate boat. And I think I spotted an Xbox type control thing.

Not far away, and not pictured, because I was getting angry, was an empty Starbucks coffee cup. Maybe you put your feet up and necked a latte while the kids used the `play area`.

I`ve seen stuff dumped here before. And it kind of....spoils the area? Maybe the sofas were spoiling your lounge. Or your driveway. But this isn`t really a solution is it?

So just in case you`re ever tempted to go flytipping again.....here are a few ideas for getting rid of your possessions, without messing up a lovely Shropshire country lane.

1) Ask around if anyone wants to buy your stuff. No? Try an advertisement in your local paper or a card at the newsagent`s round the corner?

2) See if a charity can use it. Check if it`s got a fire safety label on it. Because clean, useable furniture that can be resold, is often snapped up by charities such as the British Heart Foundation in Shrewsbury. And they  can often come to your home and collect, then clean it up and sell it. They raise money. Someone gets an affordable sofa.

3) How about Reviive on the Battlefield estate in Shrewsbury? Again, they have a brilliant team of people, including some trainees learning vital skills, who work on donated furniture and resell it.

4) Clean it up yourself, and join Freegle. Be honest about what you have, and describe it accurately...even post a picture of it on the site. Once again....it`s taken off your hands, without the need to dump it. And someone who can`t afford new stuff, feels the benefit.

5) Here`s another idea. You clearly have transport. So....take it to the tip. But check first where they are, and when they`re open--and what they take. Here`s the link to Shropshire Council`s website:

 http://www.shropshire.gov.uk

Getting the idea now? Good.

Don`t do it again please.

Love,

Jane xx

Oh......PS: It`s not that I`m obsessive about rubbish or flytipping or anything--but here are a couple of blog posts I prepared earlier...now recycled ...to show you how easy recycling can be.


Here we go. You might want to put on some Barry White for this February story. And get yourself comfy on the sofa. Oops no.....sorry.......it`s up my lane.

OK, let`s do it standing up.

Wanna talk dirty?

I mean........really dirty?

....wanna hear a little shiver...? Some deep breathing....a little panting....feel a body glowing warmer.... touch those little glistening droplets of sweat ....as the body pushes harder......?

Yeah well you`re not going to get it. Because I didn`t get my run today.

So we`re going to talk really, really dirty instead.

Oh...you wanna *see*...as well?

Cop a load of this, then:

Eight fag packets, four soft drinks holders, and half a dozen cans. Just a small sample of what I saw along a pretty, half mile stretch of road somewhere in Shropshire this morning. Half a mile`s not far ! And there was other stuff...including a neatly knotted (hmmmm...) carrier bag full of more cans, and a bottle or two. Just too gruesome and jaggy to include in my haul.

So......just what made the 20 or so litter louts who deposited this stuff, think it was ok? How tough would it have been to do something radical...like take it home?

Don`t worry.I`ve done it for you. And I hope I don`t have to do it again. Because I was supposed to be running...panting....breathing hard up the hill....(yeh, that was me, you know.....running...and....)

Oh forget it, I`ve got a headache now anyway.

Enjoying the recycling message? Good. Because I`m not done yet. Here are the tyres someone dumped in the same little layby last summer.

And yes, I did report it. You can fill in a form online, which goes to the Environment Agency.


And finally. I just checked back through my pictures. Some lovely ones of me on the beach and stuff....but then I saw this. Two more sofas. A few months back....in a bus shelter by the Shelton lights just outside Shrewsbury. Quite scarily similar to the pair dumped today at Preston Montford.

Maybe they`re stalking me. Or travelling round and round on the number 70, like people do on the London night bus....?

Nuff rubbish. Just going to log the latest load on the Environment Agency`s website. Then go and sit on my er....sofa.