Hiring? Be inspiring....!

Gissa job.

No it`s ok...three months into `non work` mode after taking voluntary redundancy...I`m not after full time re-employment, ta * .Plenty keeping me busy.

Unless, of course, you `gissa job` .....rewriting job ads.

Yes, I`ve been looking. But not for me.

So far, both  our daughters have, somehow, always managed  to find themselves paid employment during their education....with waitressing, babysitting, bar work, drama and dance classes under their belts. 

But our eldest is immersed in three months` Camp work in Minnesota at the moment; planning and taking  singing, dancing and drama sessions for `young Americans`. She`s busy, day in day out;  but still bashing out job applications when she gets a minute. When she returns to the UK she`ll have a degree, rent to pay, but no full time job.

So as I`m the one with the most time on her hands for once, I`ve been scanning the job ads too, and emailing her any links that might help.

What an eye opener.

How about  working for a `global provider of mobile connectivity`?  Or a company that`s won `co regulatory champion status` ?

Not quite `you`? There`s more. If you fancy it, you could be `accountable for the technical lifecycle of at least one major application or capability within the Integration Domain services portfolio, and for the shaping and delivery of project workpackages that generate demand into the domain.` 

You could be :`using expertise in Service Oriented Architecture, Agile delivery techniques and other relevant technologies`. Yeh? And an hour for lunch, right?

I know that language changes. Not least in the field of recruitment, and that some specialist terminology is required. But am I the last to know what a `mid weight` digital PM is...and the only one to snigger at the idea of an `arm`s length regulatory board`?

I`ve only just discovered today that you can use the term `onboard` as a verb, rather than the kind of motor you whack on the back of a boat....as in....` an ambitious and growing organisation is looking to onboard a professional and career-oriented Analyst. 

It`s not just the world of recruitment though, is it? I drove past Eddie Stobart the other day. His back doors were emblazoned with the words `road train`. That`ll be a lorry, right?

How is it, that after years of  `Plain English` awards, and  loud and protracted guffawing at completely barmy job titles....you still need to scythe through some sentences to make any sense of them?

Enough.

I need to spin round three times and become a  Repast Nutritional Solutions Architect. Yep; got to get the dinner on.

Have a good day!

And PS: Reading this on Twitter? Could you RT for me? Thanks!

*Voiceovers and film extras work, however, a speciality . Call me, maybe :)

*pic from freeimages.co.uk